Growing in Faith: On Purpose
Spiritual growth doesn't happen by accident. While God is always at work in our children's hearts, we can partner with Him by being intentional about faith formation. Setting spiritual goals with your kids isn't about creating little Pharisees who measure their worth by religious performance. It's about helping them take ownership of their faith and develop habits that will serve them for life.
The key is making goals that are meaningful, achievable, and grace-filled, leaving room for God to work in unexpected ways.
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."
— Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)
Why Set Spiritual Goals?
- •Goals provide direction and intentionality in faith development
- •Achievement builds confidence and spiritual momentum
- •Goal-setting teaches children to take ownership of their faith
- •Working toward goals together strengthens family bonds
- •Clear objectives make abstract spiritual concepts concrete
- •Celebration of progress creates positive associations with faith
⚠️Avoiding Legalism
Age-Appropriate Spiritual Goals
👶Ages 6-11: Foundation Builders
Elementary children are concrete thinkers who thrive with clear, measurable goals they can visualize and track.
Bible Goals:
- •Memorize 12 Bible verses (one per month)
- •Read through a children's Bible in one year
- •Learn the books of the Bible in order
- •Read one chapter of Proverbs each day
- •Complete a Bible sticker chart with key stories
Prayer Goals:
- •Pray every night before bed (with a parent at first, then independently)
- •Learn to pray using ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication)
- •Keep a prayer journal with pictures and words
- •Pray for three friends who don't know Jesus
- •Learn the Lord's Prayer by heart
Service Goals:
- •Do one kind thing for a sibling each day
- •Give away 10 toys to children in need
- •Help with a church service project
- •Save allowance to give to a missionary or cause
- •Write encouragement cards to people at church
Character Goals:
- •Work on one fruit of the Spirit each month
- •Practice honesty even when it's hard
- •Use kind words with siblings for a whole week
- •Show patience when things don't go your way
- •Obey parents the first time they ask
👶Ages 10-13: Ownership Developers
Preteens are ready for more abstract goals and can begin taking real ownership of their spiritual lives.
Bible Goals:
- •Read through a book of the Bible independently (start with Mark or James)
- •Complete a youth devotional book
- •Memorize a longer passage (like Psalm 23 or the Beatitudes)
- •Start a Bible study notebook with personal observations
- •Learn to use a concordance or Bible app for word studies
Prayer Goals:
- •Establish a daily quiet time (even 10 minutes counts)
- •Keep a prayer journal and record answers
- •Fast from something for a day and spend that time praying
- •Pray for your school, teachers, and classmates regularly
- •Learn to pray conversationally with God throughout the day
Service Goals:
- •Volunteer in children's ministry at church
- •Organize a service project with friends
- •Use a skill or talent to serve others (music, art, tech)
- •Tutor or mentor a younger child
- •Participate in a mission trip or local outreach
Witness Goals:
- •Invite a friend to church or youth group
- •Share your faith story with someone
- •Be known for kindness and integrity at school
- •Stand up for what's right even when unpopular
- •Be ready to answer when someone asks about your faith
How to Set Goals Together
Let Them Lead
Tracking Progress
Visual tracking helps children stay motivated and see their progress. Here are age-appropriate ideas:
For Younger Elementary (6-8)
- •Sticker charts: Add a sticker each day they meet their goal
- •Paper chain: Add a link for each verse memorized or chapter read
- •Coloring chart: Color in a section for each completed task
- •Marble jar: Add a marble for each goal met; celebrate when full
For Older Elementary (9-11)
- •Bullet journal: Simple tracking with dots or checks
- •Calendar marking: X's on days goals were met
- •Progress poster: Visual tracker displayed in bedroom
- •Digital tracker: Simple app or spreadsheet they maintain
For Preteens (11-13)
- •Prayer/faith journal: Written reflections on growth
- •Habit tracking apps: Many free options available
- •Accountability partner: Friend or mentor check-ins
- •Monthly self-assessment: Written reflection on progress
When Goals Aren't Met
This is inevitable, and it's an opportunity, not a failure. Here's how to handle it:
- •Normalize imperfection: 'We all fall short. That's why we need Jesus!'
- •Avoid shame: Never use missed goals as ammunition or comparison
- •Explore why: Was the goal too hard? Did life get busy? Did they lose interest?
- •Adjust if needed: Goals can be modified. That's not failure, it's wisdom
- •Emphasize grace: God's love isn't based on our performance
- •Try again: Each day is a fresh start with new mercies
"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
— Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)
The Goal Behind the Goals
Sample Goal-Setting Conversation
Here's how a goal-setting conversation might sound:
💡Example Conversation
Parent: "As we start the new year, I'm thinking about how I want to grow closer to God. I'd love to hear what you're thinking too."
Child: "I don't know. I guess I could read my Bible more?"
Parent: "That's a great idea! What would that look like for you? Every day? A few times a week?"
Child: "Maybe every day is too much. What about three times a week?"
Parent: "That sounds realistic. What would you read?"
Child: "Maybe that devotional book I got for Christmas?"
Parent: "Perfect! So your goal is: Read your devotional book three times a week. Should we check in on Sundays to see how it's going?"
Child: "Sure. And can we get ice cream when I finish the book?"
Parent: "Absolutely! Let's write this down and put it somewhere you'll see it."
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Spiritual goal-setting can quietly drift from grace into pressure. Most of these missteps come from parents who care deeply and simply overshoot. Keep an eye out for them.
- •Making the goals yours, not theirs: If you write the list and hand it over, your child is completing an assignment, not owning a walk with Jesus. Let them choose, even if their goals seem modest.
- •Setting too many goals: Five ambitious goals almost always collapse into zero. One or two is plenty. Depth beats breadth in the life of faith.
- •Turning tracking into surveillance: A sticker chart is meant to encourage, not to catch failures. If the chart becomes a source of dread, quietly retire it.
- •Tying God's approval to performance: Never let a missed quiet time become a lecture about disappointing God. His love does not rise and fall with our streaks.
- •Skipping the why: A goal with no meaning behind it becomes a chore. Keep connecting the habit ('read three times a week') to the heart ('so you get to know Jesus better').
- •Forgetting to celebrate: If progress passes unnoticed, motivation fades. Mark the milestones, even the small ones.
When a Goal Stalls: A Mid-Year Check-In
A few months in, enthusiasm often fades. This is normal and completely workable. Here is how a gentle, grace-filled check-in might sound when a child has fallen behind.
💡Example Conversation
Parent: "I noticed the devotional book has been sitting on your nightstand for a couple weeks. How's it going?"
Child: "I kind of stopped. I forgot, and then it felt like too much to catch up."
Parent: "That happens to me too, honestly. You don't have to catch up on the days you missed. God's mercies are new every morning, so you get a fresh start today. Do you think the goal was too big, or was it more about remembering?"
Child: "Mostly remembering. Mornings are crazy."
Parent: "What if we moved it to right before bed instead, and I set a little reminder? We can shrink it to twice a week if that feels better."
Child: "Twice a week before bed sounds good. Can we try that?"
Parent: "Absolutely. This isn't about being perfect. It's about growing, one small step at a time."
Notice what the parent did not do: no guilt trip, no comparison, no lecture. Instead, they normalized the struggle, pointed to grace, diagnosed the real obstacle, and adjusted the goal. Shrinking a goal is not failure; it is wisdom that keeps a child moving forward instead of quitting.
"The point was never a perfect record. The point is a child who, years from now, still turns toward Jesus because faith was framed as a delight rather than a debt."
Building Faith Rhythms Into Everyday Life
Goals stick best when they attach to something your family already does. Instead of adding one more thing to a busy schedule, anchor a new spiritual habit to an existing routine.
Parent FAQ
✨What if my child resists the whole idea?
Do not force it. Faith cannot be coerced, and a battle over spiritual goals can backfire. Model your own goals instead, keep the door open, and invite rather than require. Sometimes the most powerful thing a child sees is a parent who genuinely delights in time with God. Plant the seed and let God grow the interest.
✨Should there be rewards, or does that cheapen it?
Small celebrations are healthy and biblical; God built feasts and festivals into Israel's calendar to mark spiritual milestones. A treat for finishing a devotional book is fine. Just keep the reward pointed at the joy of growth, not framed as a payment for religious performance. The aim is positive association, not bribery.
✨How do I set goals for very different kids?
Tailor them. One child may thrive on memorizing verses while another connects through serving or drawing prayer pictures. Comparison is the fastest way to discourage a child. Meet each one where they are, and celebrate their unique way of drawing near to Jesus.
Start Small This Week
Parent Goals Too
Don't just set goals for your kids, model goal-setting by sharing your own spiritual goals. This teaches that faith growth is a lifelong journey and creates opportunities for mutual accountability.
- •Share your goals openly with your children
- •Be honest when you struggle or miss goals
- •Let them see you spending time with God
- •Ask them to pray for you
- •Celebrate your growth together
💡A Prayer for Spiritual Growth
Lord, thank You for wanting to grow us closer to You. Help our family set goals that draw us nearer to Jesus, not to earn Your love, but to experience more of it. Give our children hearts that desire You. Help them see spiritual habits not as duties but as delights. Guard us from legalism and performance. May everything we do be rooted in Your grace. We commit our growth to You, knowing You're the one who brings the increase. In Jesus' name, Amen.
