The Lost Discipline of Fasting
Among spiritual disciplines, fasting has suffered perhaps the greatest neglect in modern Christianity. Most believers have never fasted. Many churches never teach about it. Parents rarely consider introducing children to this ancient practice. Yet Scripture presents fasting not as optional extra-credit spirituality but as normal component of faithful Christian living.
Jesus didn't say "if you fast" but "when you fast," assuming His followers would practice this discipline (Matthew 6:16). The early church fasted regularly before major decisions, during spiritual warfare, and as expression of dependence on God. Biblical heroes from Moses to Esther to Paul engaged in fasting during pivotal spiritual moments.
"And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." - Matthew 6:16-18 (ESV)
Teaching children to fast—age-appropriately and safely—recovers essential spiritual discipline that cultivates self-control, deepens prayer, increases God-dependence, and provides powerful tool for spiritual breakthrough. Fasting isn't about earning God's favor through self-punishment but expressing desperate hunger for God that exceeds physical hunger for food.
Biblical Foundations of Fasting
What Is Fasting?
Biblical fasting is voluntary abstinence from food (and sometimes drink) for spiritual purposes. It's temporarily denying legitimate physical needs to focus intensely on spiritual realities and communion with God. Fasting redirects attention, appetite, and energy from physical to spiritual sustenance.
Fasting is always connected to prayer. It's not simply skipping meals but combining physical abstinence with heightened spiritual focus. The hunger pangs become prayer reminders, and time normally spent eating becomes time spent seeking God.
Why Fast? Biblical Purposes
Scripture presents multiple purposes for fasting, all relevant to Christian families:
1. Expressing urgent prayer or repentance: When facing crisis, seeking breakthrough, or confessing serious sin, fasting demonstrates the intensity and desperation of our appeal to God (Ezra 8:21-23, Joel 2:12).
2. Seeking God's guidance: Before major decisions, early Christians fasted to discern God's will clearly without distraction (Acts 13:2-3, Acts 14:23).
3. Spiritual warfare: Some spiritual battles require both prayer and fasting (Matthew 17:21, Mark 9:29 in some manuscripts).
4. Expressing grief or mourning: Fasting appropriately accompanies sorrow over sin, tragedy, or spiritual condition (Nehemiah 1:4, Esther 4:3).
5. Deepening intimacy with God: Fasting creates space to focus entirely on God, minimizing distractions and cultivating single-minded devotion (Luke 2:37).
6. Practicing self-control and discipline: Fasting trains the flesh to submit to the spirit, developing spiritual muscle of saying "no" to legitimate desires (1 Corinthians 9:27).
What Fasting Is NOT
Clarifying misconceptions about fasting is crucial before teaching children:
- Not earning God's favor: Fasting doesn't manipulate God or earn answers. We're already fully accepted in Christ (Ephesians 1:6).
- Not self-punishment: Fasting isn't about feeling miserable or punishing yourself for sin. That's works-righteousness.
- Not magic formula: Fasting doesn't automatically produce desired results. God responds to faith and repentance, not fasting mechanics.
- Not bragging rights: Jesus explicitly warned against fasting as public performance (Matthew 6:16).
- Not dieting: Fasting for weight loss misses the spiritual point entirely. It's about spiritual hunger, not physical appearance.
- Not required for salvation: Fasting is spiritual discipline for believers, not requirement for acceptance by God.
Age-Appropriate Fasting for Children
Important Safety Considerations
Before discussing age-appropriate fasting, establish critical safety foundations:
Medical considerations:
- Never have children with diabetes, eating disorders, or other health conditions fast without medical approval
- Children with history of disordered eating should not fast from food
- Pregnant or nursing teens should not fast from food
- Always ensure adequate hydration during fasts
- If any health concerns exist, consult pediatrician before fasting
Emotional/spiritual safeguards:
- Never use fasting as punishment
- Don't create guilt or pressure around fasting participation
- Emphasize voluntary nature—fasting under compulsion contradicts its purpose
- Watch for unhealthy attitudes developing around food or body image
- If fasting creates anxiety, legalism, or obsession, cease immediately
Elementary Children (6-11 years): Introduction Through Partial Fasts
Elementary children should NOT engage in full meal fasting. Their growing bodies require consistent nutrition. However, they can participate through partial fasts or specific item fasts that teach the principle without compromising health.
Age-appropriate fasts for elementary children:
Treat fast: Abstain from desserts, sweets, or treats for specific period (one day, one week). When craving sweets, pray instead.
Media fast: Give up TV, video games, or screens for a day or week. Use that time for prayer, Bible reading, or family activities.
Favorite food fast: Abstain from one favorite food (pizza, chicken nuggets, french fries) for a week, praying when you would normally eat it.
Single meal replacement: For older elementary children (10-11), consider replacing one small meal (breakfast or lunch) with prayer and Bible reading, with parental supervision. Never skip dinner (typically largest meal).
Snack fast: Eliminate snacks between meals for a day or two, using snack times for brief prayer.
Teaching approach: Explain that fasting means giving up something we enjoy to spend more time thinking about God and praying. It helps us remember that we need God more than we need food or entertainment. Every time we feel hungry or want what we gave up, we pray instead.
Preteens (11-13 years): Beginning Meal Fasting
Preteens can begin experimenting with very limited meal fasting under close parental supervision, while still focusing primarily on partial fasts.
Appropriate fasts for preteens:
Single meal fast: Skip one meal (typically breakfast or lunch, not both) and spend that time in prayer and Bible reading. Ensure adequate hydration and normal portions at other meals.
Sunrise-to-noon fast: Fast from wake-up until lunchtime. This introduces extended fasting without spanning full day.
Daniel fast: For 1-7 days, eat only fruits, vegetables, and water—no meats, sweets, or processed foods. This teaches discipline while maintaining nutrition (based on Daniel 1:12).
Extended partial fasts: Give up specific food categories (sweets, meat, fried foods) or activities (screens, social media, gaming) for longer periods (one week, 21 days).
Preparation and supervision: Before first meal fast, prepare children with conversation about what to expect: "You'll feel hungry. That's normal and okay. When hunger comes, that's your reminder to pray. Drink water throughout. If you feel dizzy or unwell, eat immediately and that's perfectly fine."
Teens (13-18 years): More Extended Fasting with Guidance
Teenagers can engage in more traditional fasting practices while still requiring parental awareness and reasonable boundaries.
Appropriate fasts for teens:
Half-day fasts: Fast from wake-up until dinner, or from lunch until bedtime. Maintain hydration.
Full-day fasts: For mature teens with parental approval, occasional 24-hour fasts (dinner to dinner or breakfast to breakfast). Never exceed 24 hours without parental knowledge and approval.
Multi-day partial fasts: Extended Daniel fasts, media fasts, or giving up specific pleasures for extended periods (Lent, specific prayer focus).
Corporate fasts: Participate in church-wide fasts with appropriate modifications for age.
Important boundaries for teens:
- Parents should know about and approve all fasts
- Never fast longer than 24 hours at this age
- Maintain normal schedules—don't fast during athletic events, major exams, or high-stress periods
- Break fast if feeling unwell, dizzy, or extremely weak
- Ensure adequate hydration—water, herbal tea, occasionally diluted juice
- Don't fast to lose weight or for body image reasons
Planning and Preparing for Family Fasts
Choosing What to Fast
Family fasts work best when everyone participates at their capacity. This might mean different family members fast from different things based on age and maturity.
Family fast examples:
- Media fast: Entire family gives up screens for a day or week (age-appropriate for all)
- Dessert fast: Family skips desserts for a week, using that time and money for prayer and missions giving
- Meal fast: Parents fast from breakfast and lunch while elementary children skip treats and preteens/teens skip one meal
- Entertainment fast: Family skips entertainment (movies, games, social media) for specific period, using free time for family worship and service
Establishing Purpose and Duration
Every fast should have clear purpose and defined duration. Open-ended fasts create uncertainty and often fail.
Clear purpose examples:
- "We're fasting to pray for Grandma's surgery"
- "Our family is fasting to seek God's guidance about our move"
- "We're fasting to pray for spiritual breakthrough in our community"
- "This fast focuses on repentance and renewed commitment to God"
Defined duration: "We'll fast from Friday dinner through Saturday dinner" or "We're giving up sweets for one week" provides clear endpoint preventing confusion.
Preparing Children Practically and Spiritually
Adequate preparation increases fasting success and spiritual benefit.
Practical preparation:
- Discuss what fasting means and why you're doing it
- Explain what each person will fast from based on age
- Describe what to expect physically (hunger, potential headache, low energy)
- Plan what you'll do during times normally spent eating or in activities you're fasting from
- Prepare simple foods for breaking fast (don't feast immediately after)
- Clear calendars—don't schedule demanding activities during first fasts
Spiritual preparation:
- Study Scripture about fasting together
- Pray asking God to use this fast for His purposes
- Discuss how fasting connects to prayer—it's not just skipping meals
- Prepare Scripture to meditate on during fast
- Establish prayer focus—what specifically will you pray for?
During the Fast: Practices and Rhythms
Replacing Food with Prayer
The key to meaningful fasting is replacing eating time with prayer time. When fasting from meals, use that time for extended devotions, prayer, worship, or Scripture reading.
When hunger strikes:
- Recognize it as prayer prompt: "I'm hungry—this reminds me to pray"
- Pray about your fast's purpose: "God, we're praying for Grandma's healing"
- Thank God for providing food and for satisfying spiritual hunger
- Drink water—staying hydrated helps manage hunger
Managing Physical Symptoms
First-time fasters often experience uncomfortable symptoms. Prepare children for these while emphasizing they can stop if needed.
Common symptoms and responses:
- Hunger: Normal and expected. Drink water, pray, distract with activity
- Headache: Common, especially if you normally consume caffeine. Drink water, rest briefly
- Low energy: Expected. Plan quieter activities, avoid demanding physical tasks
- Irritability: Fasting can affect mood. Extend extra grace, practice patience
- Dizziness or feeling faint: Break the fast immediately. This indicates you need food
Normalize these experiences without glorifying suffering: "Fasting is uncomfortable sometimes. That discomfort reminds us we're depending on God, not food. But if you feel really unwell, we stop and that's completely okay."
Family Activities During Fasts
Plan positive activities replacing eating or entertainment times during fasts.
During meal fasts:
- Extended family worship and prayer time when you'd normally eat
- Scripture memory or study
- Prayer walking
- Worship music listening or singing
- Reading Christian books or testimonies together
During entertainment fasts:
- Family game nights (non-electronic)
- Service projects together
- Extended prayer time
- Nature walks discussing God's creation
- Visiting elderly or sick church members
- Extra reading time individually and aloud as family
Breaking the Fast: Celebration and Reflection
How to Break Fast Physically
Don't break fasts with large, heavy meals. Start gently, especially after longer fasts.
Breaking meal fasts:
- Begin with water or diluted juice
- Eat small portions of easily digestible foods
- Fresh fruits, vegetables, simple proteins work well
- Avoid immediately gorging—your stomach needs to readjust
- For single-meal fasts, normal eating is fine; for 24+ hour fasts, be more careful
Spiritual Reflection After Fasting
The end of a fast provides opportunity for reflection and celebration of what God did.
Reflection questions for family discussion:
- What did you learn during this fast?
- When was fasting hardest? Easiest?
- How did fasting affect your prayers?
- What did God show you or teach you?
- Did fasting help you focus on God more than usual?
- What would you do differently next time?
Thanksgiving prayer: Close the fast with family prayer thanking God for sustaining you, hearing your prayers, and teaching you through fasting. Celebrate that He is faithful and worthy of sacrifice.
Recording Fast Experiences
Consider keeping family fasting journal documenting:
- Date and duration of fast
- Purpose of fast
- Who participated and what each person fasted from
- Key lessons learned
- Any answers to prayer during or after fast
- Memorable moments or conversations
Reviewing these entries over years shows children God's faithfulness and builds confidence in fasting as spiritual discipline.
Types of Fasts for Families
Regular Meal Fast
Traditional abstinence from food for specific period. This is standard biblical fasting, appropriate for teens and sometimes preteens with modifications.
Daniel Fast
Based on Daniel 1:12-16, eating only vegetables, fruits, and water for extended period. This works well for entire families including younger children as it maintains nutrition while teaching discipline.
Daniel fast guidelines:
- Eat: fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds, water
- Avoid: meat, dairy, sweets, processed foods, caffeine
- Duration: Typically 7-21 days
- Benefit: Teaches discipline without nutritional risk for children
Partial Fast
Giving up specific foods, drinks, or categories for extended time. Excellent for elementary children and families wanting to fast together.
Examples:
- No desserts or sweets for one week
- No snacks between meals for several days
- Give up favorite food for specific period
- No caffeinated beverages (for adults/older teens)
Media/Technology Fast
Abstaining from screens, social media, gaming, or entertainment. This works well for all ages and addresses modern idols.
Technology fast benefits:
- Reveals how much time screens consume
- Creates space for prayer and family interaction
- Addresses common idolatry of entertainment and social media
- Appropriate for all family members
- Can extend for longer periods than food fasts
Activity Fast
Giving up specific activities or hobbies temporarily to focus on God. This might include sports, shopping, social activities, or recreational hobbies.
Teaching Children the Spiritual Purposes of Fasting
Fasting Develops Self-Control
One of fasting's primary benefits is cultivating self-control—the ability to say "no" to legitimate desires for higher purposes.
Teaching point: "When we fast, we're training ourselves to control our bodies rather than letting our bodies control us. We're saying, 'I want God more than I want food (or screens, or treats).' This helps us in every area of life where we need to say no to something we want."
Fasting Intensifies Prayer
Fasting doesn't make God hear better, but it helps us pray more intently and focus more completely.
Teaching point: "Fasting shows God—and reminds us—that we're serious about what we're praying for. Every time we feel hungry, it reminds us to pray. When we give up something we enjoy to spend more time with God, it shows that we really want to hear from Him."
Fasting Reveals What Controls Us
Attempting to fast often reveals unhealthy dependencies on food, entertainment, comfort, or control.
Teaching point: "When fasting is really hard, sometimes it shows us that we're depending too much on that thing. Maybe we're using food for comfort instead of going to God. Maybe we're addicted to screens. Fasting helps us see where we need to trust God more."
Fasting Expresses Dependence on God
Ultimately, fasting declares that we need God more than physical necessities or comforts.
Teaching point: "Jesus said we don't live by bread alone but by every word from God's mouth (Matthew 4:4). Fasting proves that's true. When we fast, we're saying, 'God, You're what I really need. You satisfy me more than food or entertainment.'"
"But he answered, 'It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" - Matthew 4:4 (ESV)
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Mistake 1: Forcing Participation
Coerced fasting contradicts its voluntary nature and creates resentment rather than spiritual growth. Invite and encourage children to fast, but allow them to decline without guilt or punishment.
Mistake 2: Fasting Without Prayer Focus
Fasting without clear prayer focus is just skipping meals. Always connect fasting to specific prayer emphasis—what are you seeking God about?
Mistake 3: Creating Legalism
Don't make fasting a requirement for God's acceptance or a measure of spiritual maturity. It's a tool, not a spiritual achievement badge.
Mistake 4: Ignoring Safety
Never fast in ways that compromise children's health or development. When in doubt, err on the side of caution and choose partial fasts over meal fasts.
Mistake 5: Public Display
Jesus explicitly warned against fasting for public recognition (Matthew 6:16-18). Don't announce your fast publicly or make children's participation visible to boost your spiritual reputation.
Starting Family Fasting Practice
If your family has never fasted, start simply and build gradually:
- Study Scripture together: Read Matthew 6:16-18, Isaiah 58:6-7, Acts 13:2-3, and discuss what fasting means
- Choose age-appropriate first fast: For first family fast, consider media/entertainment fast or dessert fast—something whole family can do
- Set clear purpose and duration: "We're fasting from screens for three days to pray for [specific need]"
- Explain expectations: Tell children what to expect, how to handle difficulty, what success looks like
- Execute the fast: Follow through with planned prayer and alternative activities
- Reflect afterward: Discuss experience, celebrate completion, identify lessons learned
- Build gradually: After successful first fast, attempt slightly longer or more challenging fasts as children mature
The Long-Term Impact of Teaching Children to Fast
Children who learn to fast develop lifelong skills in self-control, delayed gratification, and spiritual discipline. They discover that denying immediate desires for higher purposes is not only possible but rewarding. These lessons transfer to every area of life—resisting sexual temptation, managing money wisely, maintaining integrity under pressure, persevering through difficulty.
Adults who learned to fast as children possess spiritual tools many Christians never develop. When facing crisis, they know how to intensify prayer through fasting. When needing breakthrough, they've experienced fasting's spiritual power. When battling sin patterns, they understand how to train flesh to submit to spirit.
"Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And after fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry." - Matthew 4:1-2 (ESV)
Jesus prepared for spiritual warfare through fasting. He modeled this discipline as essential preparation for kingdom ministry. When we teach our children to fast, we equip them with powerful spiritual weapon for the battles they'll inevitably face throughout life.
Final Encouragement
Introducing children to fasting might feel uncomfortable or unnecessary initially. Our culture promotes constant consumption and immediate gratification. Fasting swims upstream against these currents, teaching countercultural values of restraint, sacrifice, and delayed gratification for spiritual purposes.
Yet these countercultural values produce character qualities desperately needed in next generation of believers—self-control, perseverance, God-dependence, and willingness to sacrifice for kingdom purposes. The temporary discomfort of fasting yields eternal dividends in spiritual formation.
Start where you are. Choose age-appropriate fasting practices. Emphasize voluntary participation and spiritual purpose. And watch as this ancient discipline shapes your children into disciples who can deny themselves, take up their cross, and follow Jesus wholeheartedly.
"Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke?" - Isaiah 58:6 (ESV)
May your family discover through fasting the freedom that comes from loosing wickedness's bonds, the breakthrough that comes from breaking yokes, and the intimacy with God that comes from hunger for Him that exceeds all other hungers.