Understanding the Sacred Meal
Your eight-year-old watches solemnly as the communion trays pass by, skipping your row because children don't partake yet in your church. Afterward, she asks, "What makes that bread and juice so special? When can I have some?" Or perhaps your teenager, visiting a friend's Catholic Mass, comes home asking, "Why does their church call it the Eucharist and treat it so differently than we do?"
These questions open doors to one of Christianity's most profound practices—the Lord's Supper, also called communion, the Eucharist, or the Lord's Table. This simple meal of bread and wine (or juice) has been central to Christian worship for two thousand years, yet Christians understand and practice it in remarkably different ways.
As parents, we have the privilege of introducing our children to this sacred practice that Jesus Himself instituted the night before His crucifixion. More than explaining theological positions, we're helping them encounter Jesus through this tangible, repeated act of worship that connects them to Christians across time and space.
The Biblical Foundation: Jesus' Institution of the Lord's Supper
Before exploring different theological understandings, ground your children in what Scripture clearly teaches about this practice.
The Last Supper
Jesus instituted communion during the Passover meal with His disciples the night before His crucifixion. All three synoptic Gospels record this pivotal moment:
"While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, 'Take and eat; this is my body.' Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, 'Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins'" (Matthew 26:26-28).
Luke adds Jesus' instruction: "Do this in remembrance of me" (Luke 22:19). This wasn't a one-time meal but a practice to be repeated.
For younger children: "The night before Jesus died on the cross, He had a special dinner with His closest friends. He took bread and said it represented His body that would be broken for us. He took wine and said it represented His blood that would be poured out for us. Then He told them to keep having this special meal to remember Him."
Paul's Teaching on Communion
The Apostle Paul provides important instruction about the Lord's Supper in 1 Corinthians 10-11:
"Is not the cup of thanksgiving for which we give thanks a participation in the blood of Christ? And is not the bread that we break a participation in the body of Christ? Because there is one loaf, we, who are many, are one body, for we all share the one loaf" (1 Corinthians 10:16-17).
Paul emphasizes that communion is:
- • Participation/Fellowship: The Greek word "koinonia" means sharing, communion, or participation. We share in Christ's sacrifice and in community with other believers.
- • Unity: One loaf represents the one body of Christ—the church. When we partake together, we express our unity.
- • Proclamation: "For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes" (1 Corinthians 11:26). Communion announces the gospel.
- • Self-Examination: "Everyone ought to examine themselves before they eat of the bread and drink from the cup" (1 Corinthians 11:28). Communion requires preparation and reverence.
The Passover Connection
Jesus deliberately instituted communion during Passover, the Jewish feast commemorating Israel's deliverance from Egyptian slavery. Just as the Passover lamb's blood saved Israel from death, Jesus—"the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world" (John 1:29)—saves us from sin and death through His sacrifice.
For preteens and teens: "Understanding Passover helps us understand communion. At Passover, Jewish families ate unleavened bread and lamb, remembering how God rescued their ancestors from slavery. Jesus is our Passover Lamb. When we take communion, we remember how Jesus' death rescues us from sin's slavery."
The Theological Spectrum: What Is Happening at Communion?
Christians agree that communion is a sacred practice Jesus commanded, but we understand what happens during communion in different ways.
Transubstantiation: The Catholic View
The Position: The bread and wine literally become the actual body and blood of Jesus Christ. While the outward appearance (called "accidents") remains unchanged, the substance or essence becomes Christ's body and blood. This transformation happens through the priest's consecration.
Biblical Arguments:
- • Jesus said "This IS my body" and "This IS my blood," which Catholics take literally
- • John 6:53-56: Jesus says, "Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you"
- • 1 Corinthians 10:16 speaks of "participation" in Christ's body and blood
Theological Implications:
- • The Eucharist is a re-presentation of Christ's sacrifice
- • Christ is truly present in the elements
- • The Mass is the central act of Catholic worship
- • Only ordained priests can consecrate the elements
- • The consecrated elements (especially the bread/host) are treated with utmost reverence
Practice: Catholics receive communion weekly (or even daily), believing they are receiving Christ Himself. Only baptized Catholics in a state of grace should partake. The Catholic Church practices "closed communion"—restricting it to those in full communion with Rome.
For children: "Catholic Christians believe that when the priest prays over the bread and wine, they actually become Jesus' body and blood, even though they still look like bread and wine. That's why they treat them so carefully and reverently."
Consubstantiation: The Lutheran View
The Position: Christ is truly present "in, with, and under" the bread and wine, but the elements don't change their substance. Both the bread/wine and Christ's body/blood are present together—a sacramental union. The term "consubstantiation" is actually a label Lutherans reject, but it's commonly used to describe their position.
Biblical Arguments:
- • Jesus said "This is my body," which Lutherans take seriously as real presence
- • The phrase "is my body" shouldn't be dismissed as merely symbolic
- • The Scripture emphasizes Christ's presence, not the change of elements
Theological Implications:
- • Christ's body and blood are truly present and received by all who partake
- • The elements remain bread and wine while also being the body and blood of Christ
- • The sacrament conveys grace to believers
- • Both lay people should receive both elements (bread and wine)
Practice: Lutherans celebrate communion frequently (often weekly) and practice "close communion"—inviting those who share their understanding of the sacrament's meaning.
For children: "Lutheran Christians believe Jesus is really present in the communion bread and wine in a special way, even though the bread doesn't stop being bread and the wine doesn't stop being wine. Jesus is there 'with' the bread and wine."
Spiritual Presence: The Reformed View
The Position: Christ is spiritually present at communion through the Holy Spirit, and believers truly receive Christ through faith, but the bread and wine remain bread and wine. This view, associated with John Calvin, emphasizes real spiritual feeding on Christ without physical change to the elements.
Biblical Arguments:
- • Jesus said "The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing" (John 6:63), emphasizing spiritual reality
- • Christ ascended to heaven and is seated at God's right hand (Acts 1:9-11; Hebrews 1:3), so His physical body isn't multiple places
- • The Holy Spirit mediates Christ's presence to believers
- • 1 Corinthians 10:16 speaks of spiritual participation in Christ
Theological Implications:
- • Communion is more than symbolic but not a physical transformation
- • By faith and through the Spirit, we truly commune with Christ
- • The sacrament nourishes believers spiritually
- • Christ's presence is real but spiritual, not physical
Practice: Reformed churches (Presbyterian, some Methodist) typically celebrate communion monthly or quarterly. They often practice "fenced communion"—inviting believers who can examine themselves to participate.
For children: "Reformed Christians believe that when we take communion, Jesus is really with us through the Holy Spirit. We don't just remember Jesus—He's spiritually present, and we connect with Him in a special way."
Memorial/Symbolic: The Baptist/Evangelical View
The Position: Communion is a symbolic memorial and act of obedience. The bread and wine represent Christ's body and blood but remain ordinary elements. Communion is primarily about remembrance, proclamation, and anticipation of Christ's return.
Biblical Arguments:
- • Jesus said "Do this in remembrance of me" (Luke 22:19)—emphasizing memory
- • 1 Corinthians 11:26: "You proclaim the Lord's death"—it's a proclamation
- • Jesus often spoke in metaphors: "I am the vine," "I am the door"—"This is my body" is symbolic language
- • Jesus' body was physically present when He said "This is my body," so He couldn't mean literal identity
Theological Implications:
- • Communion is an ordinance (commanded practice) rather than a sacrament (means of grace)
- • The power is in what communion represents, not in the elements themselves
- • Communion is primarily a believer's testimony and act of obedience
- • The focus is on remembering Christ's sacrifice and anticipating His return
Practice: Baptist and evangelical churches vary widely in frequency (monthly, quarterly, or occasionally) and typically practice "open communion"—welcoming all believers regardless of denomination. Many use grape juice instead of wine.
For children: "Many evangelical Christians believe communion helps us remember what Jesus did for us. The bread reminds us that Jesus' body was broken for us, and the juice reminds us that Jesus' blood was poured out for us. It's a special way to think about Jesus' love and what He did on the cross."
Key Questions and Issues
Who Should Take Communion?
Churches differ on who should participate in communion:
Closed Communion: Only members of that specific church or denomination may partake. Common in Catholic, Orthodox, and some Lutheran churches.
Close Communion: Those who share similar beliefs about communion and are baptized believers may partake. Common in Lutheran and some Reformed churches.
Open Communion: All baptized believers in Jesus Christ may partake regardless of denomination. Common in Baptist, Methodist, and evangelical churches.
Very Open Communion: Anyone seeking God may participate, even non-believers. Less common but practiced by some progressive churches.
For children: "Different churches have different rules about who can take communion. Our church [explain your church's practice]. We believe it's important to [explain reasoning—whether unity in Christ, shared understanding, believers only, etc.]."
What Age Should Children Begin Taking Communion?
This varies significantly:
Infant Communion: Orthodox churches commune baptized infants.
First Communion (Catholic): Around age 7-8, after preparation and first confession.
After Profession of Faith: Many Protestant churches allow children to participate after they've made a credible profession of faith (ages vary—often 7-12).
After Baptism: Churches practicing believer's baptism often link communion to baptism.
Family Decision: Some churches leave it to parental discretion once children can understand.
Key Principle: 1 Corinthians 11:28 says, "Everyone ought to examine themselves before they eat of the bread and drink from the cup." The question is: when can a child meaningfully examine themselves and understand what communion represents?
Frequency: How Often Should We Celebrate Communion?
Weekly: Catholic, Orthodox, Lutheran, and increasingly many Protestant churches celebrate communion every Sunday, seeing it as central to worship.
Monthly: Many Presbyterian and Reformed churches celebrate monthly.
Quarterly: Some Baptist and evangelical churches celebrate four times per year.
Occasionally: Some churches celebrate communion only on special occasions.
The New Testament doesn't specify frequency, only that we should do it. Acts 20:7 suggests the early church may have practiced it weekly ("On the first day of the week we came together to break bread").
Bread and Wine: What Elements Should Be Used?
Wine vs. Grape Juice: Churches in liturgical traditions (Catholic, Orthodox, Lutheran, Anglican) use wine. Many Protestant churches, especially in America, use grape juice due to temperance movement influence and concern for those with alcohol addiction.
Leavened vs. Unleavened Bread: Western churches typically use unleavened bread or wafers, connecting to Passover's unleavened bread. Eastern Orthodox use leavened bread, emphasizing the resurrection (leaven causes bread to rise).
Common Cup vs. Individual Cups: Traditional practice used a common cup (chalice) symbolizing unity. Many Protestant churches use individual cups for hygiene concerns.
Teaching Children to Prepare for Communion
Regardless of your theological tradition, teach children that communion is sacred and requires preparation.
For Elementary Ages (Before First Communion)
Build Understanding:
- • Read the Last Supper account from a children's Bible
- • Explain that communion helps us remember Jesus' love
- • Talk about why we treat it specially and respectfully
- • Let them know when they'll be able to participate
Practice Reverence: Even if children aren't taking communion yet, teach them to be quiet and respectful during communion time. This isn't punishment—it's learning reverence for sacred things.
For Preteens (Preparing for First Communion)
Teach the Gospel Connection:
- • Why did Jesus have to die?
- • What does His blood wash away?
- • What does His broken body accomplish?
- • How do we receive salvation through Christ?
Explain Self-Examination:
- • Have I sinned that I need to confess?
- • Am I holding grudges or anger toward others?
- • Do I truly trust in Jesus as my Savior?
- • Am I grateful for what Jesus did for me?
First Communion Preparation: If your church offers formal preparation, participate fully. If not, create your own preparation:
- • Study what communion means together
- • Discuss your church's beliefs about communion
- • Practice reverent participation
- • Make their first communion special—perhaps a family celebration afterward
For Teens
Deepen Understanding:
- • Study different theological views on communion
- • Discuss why sincere Christians understand it differently
- • Explore communion's connection to the gospel
- • Consider communion's role in spiritual formation
Personal Preparation Routine: Help teens develop their own pre-communion preparation:
- • Quiet prayer and confession
- • Scripture reading (perhaps the Last Supper account or 1 Corinthians 11)
- • Self-examination regarding sin and relationships
- • Gratitude for Christ's sacrifice
Practical Action Steps for Parents
1. Model Reverence
Children learn by watching you. Approach communion with obvious reverence, preparation, and gratitude. Let them see you pray during communion distribution, reflect quietly, and treat the elements respectfully.
2. Discuss Communion After Services
On communion Sundays, talk as a family about the experience:
- • What did you think about during communion?
- • What aspect of Jesus' sacrifice are you most grateful for?
- • Did anything about communion stand out to you today?
3. Read Communion Passages Together
Regularly read these key passages as a family:
- • Matthew 26:26-29 (The Last Supper)
- • Luke 22:14-20 (Jesus institutes communion)
- • 1 Corinthians 10:16-17 (Participation in Christ)
- • 1 Corinthians 11:23-32 (Paul's instructions)
- • John 6:48-58 (Jesus as bread of life)
4. Explain Your Church's Practice
Help children understand why your church does communion the way it does. If possible, have your pastor explain it to your children directly.
5. Visit Other Churches
If appropriate, attend communion services at churches with different practices. Discuss what was similar and different, helping children appreciate Christian diversity.
6. Create Pre-Communion Family Rituals
On communion Sundays, you might:
- • Read the Last Supper account at breakfast
- • Pray together before leaving for church
- • Have each family member share one thing they're grateful for about Jesus' sacrifice
- • Observe a few minutes of quiet reflection before leaving
7. Celebrate First Communion
When your child takes communion for the first time, make it memorable:
- • Take photos before church
- • Have a special family meal afterward
- • Give them a Bible or devotional book
- • Write them a letter about the significance of this step
- • Invite grandparents or godparents to participate in the celebration
Common Questions from Children and Teens
"Does the bread really become Jesus' body?"
"Different Christians understand that differently. Some believe it literally becomes Jesus' body. Others believe Jesus is spiritually present. Others believe it stays bread but represents Jesus' body. What all Christians agree on is that communion is a special, sacred way to remember and celebrate what Jesus did for us when He died on the cross and rose again."
"Why can't I take communion yet?"
"Communion is a sacred practice for those who understand what it means and have decided to follow Jesus. We want you to really understand what Jesus did and why it matters before you participate. [If applicable:] When you're ready to make your own decision to follow Jesus and understand what communion represents, then you'll be ready to take it."
"Why does Grandma's church do communion so differently than ours?"
"Christians through history have understood and practiced communion in different ways, but we all celebrate it because Jesus told us to. Grandma's church emphasizes [explain their emphasis], while our church emphasizes [explain your emphasis]. Both love Jesus and want to honor His command to take communion."
"What if I accidentally took communion before I was supposed to?"
"God knows your heart and intentions. If you took communion not understanding what it meant or before your church said you were ready, don't worry—God isn't angry with you. But now that you're learning about communion, you can prepare properly to take it the right way."
"Why do we call it by different names?"
"'Communion' emphasizes our fellowship with Jesus and other believers. 'The Lord's Supper' reminds us it's a meal Jesus gave us. 'Eucharist' comes from the Greek word for 'thanksgiving.' 'The Lord's Table' emphasizes Jesus as our host. All these names highlight different aspects of this one practice."
Conclusion: Meeting Jesus at His Table
Whether your family understands communion as memorial, sacrament, or spiritual mystery, this practice Jesus gave us is a profound gift. Through this simple meal of bread and wine (or juice), we:
- • Remember Christ's sacrifice
- • Proclaim His death until He returns
- • Experience fellowship with Him and other believers
- • Look forward to the Marriage Supper of the Lamb
- • Renew our commitment to follow Jesus
- • Receive spiritual nourishment
- • Participate in an act of worship that unites us with Christians across time and space
As you teach your children about communion, you're not just explaining a church practice—you're inviting them to encounter Jesus in a tangible, repeated way. You're connecting them to a tradition that stretches back to that upper room where Jesus broke bread with His disciples and stretches forward to the day when "people will come from east and west and north and south, and will take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God" (Luke 13:29).
May your children learn to approach the Lord's Table with reverence, joy, and gratitude, meeting Jesus there and being transformed by the remembrance of His great love. And may they grow to appreciate that while Christians celebrate communion in diverse ways, we all gather at the table Jesus set, remembering the body broken and blood poured out for the sins of the world.
"For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes" (1 Corinthians 11:26).